I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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