So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
