Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
