Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
