can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
