I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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