marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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