Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the condom got lost in my hair
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
