Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
