you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
