i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
