Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
