What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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