dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh god it's open bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
