It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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