i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
