I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
