So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He had one of those small greek statue penises
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
