so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
