Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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