If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
