i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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