Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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