I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
