none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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