Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
