She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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