Barsexuality is the new black.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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