yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
