I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
