she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
