In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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