Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
