Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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