i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
