Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dicks are not precious.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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