She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
