Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
