so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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