"it" just moved
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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