The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
