Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
