You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
