I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
