So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
