Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
