If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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