I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
