What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't think brook has ever known best
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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