his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nutella sex= disaster
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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