Small penises have feelings too.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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