I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
